He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
