no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
