She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
