the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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