I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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