Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
