3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
