is your mom at the bar?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Are my feet made of real feet?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize