whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
