Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
