Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
