My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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