Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
