I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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