The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This is not my ceiling
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My feet surprised me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
