So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't deserve a penis
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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