I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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