"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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