Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
