So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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