This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
