OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
