Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
