yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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