OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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