Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
