I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
