Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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