i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
