OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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