its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
