OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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