fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
