She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Text me some of your sweat
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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