My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize