PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
