Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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