he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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