I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
