He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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