no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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