Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
