Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
