Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
