The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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