I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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