I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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