I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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