no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need water and some morals
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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