Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
